Please review these before contacting us. We are always ready to answer any questions that do not endanger our students or faculty.
Thanks to Pixifer, the Nottingham Academy Disinformation Security Officer, for compiling this list of Frequently Asked Questions about Nottingham Academy.
Answers were provided by the Admissions Committee:
Dragonlady, Headmistress
rhyno, Faculty Representative
wormie, Admissions Officer
Can I be put on the wait list for Speaking to the Opposite Sex 101 for the Spring, or is it already full? I understand it is an extremely popular class.
What types of ammunition are available on campus?
Will my part-time job as a hired assassin interfere with my financial aid application?
Are the tunnels under campus for undergraduate use?
What is the official policy of fighting, i.e., debts of honor?
What
is Nottingham Academy? If you are
asking, then you don't need to know and we can't tell you.
back to questions
Does the school have any organized sports besides competitive stalking? How does the team rank in its division for this sport? How can I join the team? Does the team need another Black Dragon mascot? Nottingham Academy offers several sports including sharpshooting, biathalon, fencing, tall building leap and pool/billiards. Competitive stalking is our most popular sport here, and, yes, we are ranked 1st by..well, we can't say. It's classified. Team trials are held every Fall and are open to all students. However, the team is very selective about its members.
Our academy is consistently ranked in the
top ten among the NCAA Division I Tall Building Jump. We also have a championship
male swim team. Additionally, the sniper team, er, that is, the sharp-shooting
team is ranked as one of the best in the nation and at the top of the
CIA's "go-to" list. Competitive hand-to-hand fighting has its
followers, but most are now serving over seas. Our 4H team took first
place in the clone showing at the state fair this year. We no longer take
our mascot on the road. It was considered to be too obvious at competitions
and it kept getting shot by the other teams.
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Because
of my experience in the military special forces, I cannot answer 75% of
the questions on the application. Is this a problem? Not at
all! Most of our applicants cannot complete the form. As a matter of fact,
it will speed up your application process. We do, however, ask for a complete
list of kills to insure you have the proper temperament for the Academy.
Once we have confirmed your service in special forces, you would be eligible
for advanced placement. The application procedure is outlined in the application
packet, but feel free to contact the Dean of Students with further questions.
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I
am a clone. Under birthdate should I list the day I was hatched, or the
date my original self was born? Should I list both?
You must have received our old application form. Please contact
the Admissions Office to receive the new form which has boxes for both.
We need your original self DOB for demographic reasons and your clone
hatch date to insure your tetamirs are in good order. On the new form,
you will also be asked for the harvest date of the stem cells used in
your clone line as well as for include your clone number. A copy of your
genetic sequence is not required with the application, but, if included,
we will waive your application fee.
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I
have issues with strobe lights. Can I receive an exemption from Handling
Hazardous Conditions 101 for this reason? Whenever possible,
we can make any modification to the curiculum you need to accomodate your
special needs. However, HAZM 101 Hazardous Conditions deals only with
physical agents, radioactive materials and noise pollution and therefore
you are not exempt from that required course. Please note: you may want
to avoid the local dance clubs listed in the student manual.
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Can
I be put on the wait list for Speaking to the Opposite Sex 101 for the
Spring, or is it already full? I understand it is an extremely popular
class. Yes, it is our most popular course since many clones
find it difficult to speak to the opposite sex. Unfortunately, we are
unable to open another section due to lack of resources. We can place
you on the waiting list but this does not guarantee an opening. However,
if your special forces training is confirmed, you may be eligible to be
bumped up on the list. If you are acquainted with someone on the faculty,
you may ask them to speak with the professor or to email your request.
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What
is the male to female ratio? Is it true that at graduation we are paired
up with a member of the opposite sex in order to mate? That might be helpful
if I can't get into Speaking to the Opposite Sex before I graduate.
The composition of our student body is classified and so it can not be
discussed here as are the graduation requirments. We will discuss them
when you are enrolled. Since cloning has been perfected by Dr. Immo of
our Developmental Biology Department, mating is entirely optional. If
you choose to mate with a classmate, you must do so with one deemed as
your best genetic mate. However, we do make 'soulmate' exceptions. Please
consult the student manual for more information.
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What
types of ammunition are available on campus? You name it, we
got it. Our armory is stocked with every type of (legal and illegal) weapon
used in the history of mankind. In addition, we can instruct you in the
use of everyday objects as weapons (see MART 320 and MART 321 in the course
catalog). Note: we did discontinue stocking smart bombs so as not to call
attention to ourselves.
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Will
my part-time job as a hired assassin interfere with my financial aid application?
As will all moneys earned, they must be reported on your financial aid
application. However, they are several exemptions, depending on the condition
of your employment. Jobs for any government body would not affect your
financial aid award. If you are on retainer to one client, it is NOT considered
part-time (even though you may only be working part-time) and will affect
you financial award package. Please contact the financial aid office for
more details. Please note that you will lose your amateur status and thus
be ineligible for the Assassin Olympics.
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Are
the tunnels under campus for undergraduate use? Due to the
occasional vampire using the tunnels, only upperclassmen admitted to a
post-doc program and graduate students may use the tunnels. (It's a liability
issue. However, you may be eligible for a tunnel pass if you meet certain
requirements and are approved to do so by the Dean of Students.)
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What
is the official policy of fighting, ie. debts of honor? In
most cases, we do not require or expect ON-CAMPUS debts of honor to be
paid with forfeiture of life. We do make exceptions if the situation involves
a soulmate. However, we expect all of our students to comport themselves
as men and women of honor and adhere to the Warrior code. All fights must
go through the gallantry committee. Please see our student manual for
more details.
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